April 30th is apparently National Spank Out Day. Which initially I thought was kind of cool, because I thought it was like a "Nurse In" kind of, but with butts instead of boobs. So awesome. I can actually take my kids out in public today, because if they act up I can hit them and tell the CPS officials who come knocking anytime a parent tries to parent that I was just celebrating National Spank Out Day.
Not so much.
It seems that National Spank Out Day would be more aptly named "National Guilt You Into Not Disciplining Your Children Only So That We Can Then Guilt You About Having Unruly Children Later Day".
Not so awesome. I think I will be filing this under useless along with Cinco de Mayo and Arbor Day and Bosses Day* and not be participating in this particular holiday, much to my children's disappointment.
*Just to be clear - I have nothing against Cinco de Mayo, Arbor Day and Bosses Day - well maybe Bosses Day but not the others. I think that Mexico and trees and bosses are very nice. But I am painfully white and have no Hispanic heritage to celebrate, so Cinco de Mayo doesn't really do anything for me (though my neighbors have kick ass Cinco de Mayo parties that they don't invite me to) and I love trees, but I kill plants just by looking at them. Bosses Day is useless because why in the fuck should I buy something for my boss with my money when he makes more than twice as much as I do and when he buys my Administrative Assistant Day gift with the company credit card?!
As I recall, every day was Spank Out Day, when I was a kid. (Hence, very few public outbursts came from me!)
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